Wednesday, January 5, 2011

King Garlic by Joanne Morris Okano

     I lost this poem for several years!  I found a taped copy of it in my closet when I was cleaning it out.

To my children Shoshana, Brigham, Paul and Somerset

Long ago in the pages of Storybookland
Lay the valley kingdom of King Archibald and
His brothers, Prince Cedric (a peculiar sort)
And Cedric's twin, Darman, the star of the court.
The star of the court was Prince Darman because
His talent at jousting and other sports was
A legend: moreover, when put to the test
At fencing and archery, he was the best.
A peculiar sort for a prince was his brother
Prince Cedric, no interest in jousting or other
Sports, loved only garlic and sang as he'd go,
"Grow garlic, eat garlic, that's all that I know!"
But Cedric had these noble traits on his side;
He was kind, good and humble, not puffed up with pride
Unlike selfish Darman, whose lifelong desire
To get all the possessions that he could acquire.

The story begins in great sorrow and pain
For the King went out walking one day in the rain
And as he had left his umbrella inside,
Caught a chill, cold, bronchitis, pneumonia and died.

"Which prince should be king now?  Please make up your minds,
If jousting's what matters, or if kings should be kind."
The royal advisers were hard pressed to say
So locked themselves up in their office all day.
In the end they chose Darman to be their land's king,
And sent Cedric away with a new wedding ring
For Florania, of whom they were sure he'd be fond,
Princess of the Land Of The Back Of Beyond.
The Princess was beautiful, talented, true,
She could cook, was at home in her library, too.
But her kingdom, in ruins from three long years' war,
Kept the suitors away for they knew she was poor.*        *in comparison with other princesses.
But Cedric loved garlic, that's all that he knew.
He said, "Poor?  No matter, as long as she's true."
For Florania, of whom he was sure he'd be fond,
He trekked all the long way to the Back Of Beyond.
Floods and droughts, snow and sleet, frost and heat he survived
Until at the Back Of Beyond he arrived.
And all over the land people heard trumpets play
As Florania and Cedric were married that day.
Florania's father, though still king in name,
Retired from the throne, for he thought it a shame
To go through his whole life in just one profession.
The prince and princess were to make the decisions
And while he took up acting and became a sensation,
They lived in the castle and governed the nation.

With Cedric, Florania was hardly impressed.
Of the princes she'd met, he behaved not the best.
Though his heart was of gold, that was not quite enough.
He was a rough diamond, and I emphasize rough.
It was not that he gardened till daylight grew dim
But when he came inside, outside also came in.
He dined, not as father in ermine-trimmed robes,
But with ants marching up and down his gardening clothes.
The distinguishing marks which were left by her prince:
Trails of mud on the carpet and soil on the chintz.
She wrung her delicate hands in despair,
For she could detect centipedes in his hair;
And at night, she no sooner had laid down her head,
Than she found various earthworms asleep in the bed.

Meanwhile, Cedric wondered what he could do for
All the hungry and starved of three long years' war.
He wanted to help the poor people and so
Said, "Grow garlic, eat garlic, that's all that I know!"
He went through the land to show how it was done
Till the poor people's garlic was second to none,
And was sought by the merchants of many a land.
He had turned out alright though not like what she'd planned.
"He has qualities good and just needs to refine
His manners, so I can be grateful he's mine.
I'll teach him to take off his boots at the door;
How to shower, dress for dinner, and a thousand things more.
I'll teach him that shampoo, not soap, is for hair,
And the reasons one should not tip back on one's chair."
With Florania's help, Cedric learned how to read,
How to write, thus the prince became literate indeed:
But the thing which preoccupied him most, Cedric found,
Was that people were homeless and slept on the ground.
One day while he read, an earthquake shook their home,
And dropped from the top shelf a huge ancient tome,
The Pictorial History Of Architecture.
He thought the princess would like it and showed it to her.
Florania read it and said, "There's a need
For a literacy program so people can read
This wonderful book, which is helpful to all
Needing tipis, apartments, or cottages small."

We return for a moment to Prince Cedric's twin,
King Darman, who'd all but forgotten his kin
And his growing of garlic and kind, trusting ways.
King Darman's obsession with wealth would amaze
He'd found him a helper to acquire all he could,
His queen, Dalthea, who loathed everything good.
One day, to the queen, he said, "What shall we do?"
She said, "I like to be a bit nasty, don't you?
Raise taxes so high, that your people instead
Of being prosperous, wear rags, live on water and bread.
Exile all nice people and those who can spell."
No, Darman and Dalthea didn't do very well.
With taxes and exiles they bled the land dry.
The country went bankrupt and soon with a sigh
The king said, "Since wealth in this place is so rare,
Let's see just how much we can plunder elsewhere."
They gathered an army, the biggest and best.
With the king's expertise, they could beat all the rest.
No city could stand against this army's raids.
Folk were chased from their homes, left to shelter in caves.

Florania's father was mentioned before,
Quite briefly, and now will be mentioned some more.
Giving up a successful career on the stage,
He died of a mixture of lines and old age.
Florania and Cedric were heirs to the throne.
All over the land, their improvements were known.
The kingdom's new name, Land Of Plenty would be,
And the monarchs, King Garlic and Queen Literacy.

A city-wide festival, garlic the theme,
Was put on to honour the new king and queen.
Not knowing, these folk who loved garlic so well
That the festival could, with its garlicky smell,
Kill a non-garlic eater a just twenty paces,
They put garlic in all the available spaces.

Meanwhile, far away, at the border arrived
The infamous army no land had survived.
King Darman, Queen Dalthea rode at the head.
The sign at the quiet border crossing they read.
"Welcome to the Land Of Plenty," read the sign.
"Please remove muddy boots before crossing the line.
The king and the queen of the land which you see
Are known as King Garlic and Queen Literacy."
"Well, well," said King Darman, "what curious names
Have this land and its rulers.  All the same,
Though its not on my map, I see no reason why
We should forgo our plunder and pass this land by."
So forward they galloped to look for the King
And demand that to them the crown jewels he bring.
And though there were beautiful homes by the score,
They received no response when they knocked at each door.
Then off in the distance appeared a walled city.
"To knock down that wall would be truly a pity,"
Said Dalthea, sarcastically.  "It is built well."
And that's when she noticed the terrible smell.
King Darman grew pale as he searched from his clothes
And put over his face to protect mouth and nose,
From the smell, which he feared might do him some harm,
A hanky embroidered with his coat of arms.
Queen Dalthea followed the caution he'd shown
And fished in her pocket till she'd found her own
Handkerchief (trimmed with lace) and the troops did the same.
The smell from the city had made them quite tame.
The army once frightened their victims to death,
But now every soldier was fighting for breath.
King Darman decided that he'd now attack
The wall and demand the crown jewels in a sack.
Removing his hanky, he started to say, "..."
When along came a big wind and blew it away,
Over the wall and into the crowd,
Dancing and singing incredibly loud,
Where a little boy caught it and took it with him
To the Lost And Found Desk where he handed it in.

Meanwhile at the castle, the new king and queen
Were enjoying the view of the jubilant scene.
"If only my twin were here, he'd make my day.
But it's too much to ask.  He lives so far away."
No sooner had King Garlic uttered his wish
Than the clerk from the Lost And Found came with a dish,
On which was a handkerchief, certain to charm,
Embroidered with King Garlic's twin's coat of arms.
Outside from the smell, King Darman had fainted
But inside, King Garlic a different scene painted.
"He's come all this way our crowning to see.
My twin brother Darman is so good to me.
Although," said King Garlic, "he's a little bit late,"
Replacing the handkerchief back on the plate
"For the crowning, he is just in time for the feast
Of fiddleheads, garlic and roast wildebeest."
He ran down the staircase and into the streets
His beloved twin brother, King Darman, to greet.
Although you may wonder what it was he could see
In a brother who showed others such treachery
The answer is simple, he looked for the good
In everyone and everything that he could.
He flung open the gates and he shouted, "Hurray!
You've arrived just in time for the big feast, today,
Your visit is just like a wonderful dream."
"Is he for real?"  scoffed Dalthea, the queen.
On seeing King Darman, collapsed, though not dead,
A light bulb went on inside King Garlic's head.
Imagining Darman had lost all his strength
With fatigue and exhaustion from his journey's length,
"My poor brother fainted?  I know just the thing.
"I'll give him some garlic," said Garlic the King.
"Oh, no that's the smell, that smell," said the queen.
"It's garlic that's killing my husband it seems.
We want nothing more of your garlic today."
And the king, queen and soldiers all gallopped away.
"How strange," said Queen Literacy, "they're in a hurry.
Perhaps they've left milk on the stove, that they worry.
Perhaps they went out and they left the stove on,
And now they've remembered, and that's where they've gone."

King Garlic, Queen Literacy, happy and free,
Prosperous and peaceful their kingdom will be



But Darman and Dalthea galloped so fast
That they and the army the border went past.
They galloped beyond even seashore and sand
And fell off the pages of Storybookland,
Down, down, till they landed in Grandmother's house
Where they live in a hole in the wall with a mouse.

                                                        THE END