God And The Spider - the tale of how a manless woman caught a spider

     This is the tale of how a spider got into my house, unbeknowns to me and frightened the living daylights out of me.
     Hello, I'm a spider, said the spider under my kitchen chair.  Will you throw me out or will you step on me?
     I didn't step on him.  He was enormous.  I was frightened to death, nearly.
     Oh, she's so kind, said the spider.  She didn't step on me.  I love her so much.  Isn't she kind, God?
     God didn't reply, you think, but no, God always replies when you ask him something politely, sooner or later.
     Yes, said God.  You're going to go outside now and run around in the grass all night, He said to the spider.
     I was manless and thought I'd need a man to throw the spider out.  I put a jamjar over the top of the spider.  He was a very large spider and his long legs stuck out the sides of the jar.  I thought I'd throw him in the bathtub.
     Just then my teenaged son came to call.  I picked up the jamjar with a piece of paper covering the end, with the spider inside.  I threw the spider out on the grass while my son helped me with the door.

The End