King Garlic looked outside, one day in the rain
And said, "Oh this weather is truly a pain.
I wanted to go out today and hunt squirrels."
"These squirrels from Wirral are truly a peril.
They're eating our radishes, looting our spinach.
Our kale and our cabbage they're starting to pillage.
Our eggplant and onions they snatch in each village,"
The people of King Garlic's land said in Spanish.
The gracious, kind King - he was not one for killing
But if he did not eat them, the squirrels were winning
And fast taking over the good Land Of Plenty,
Which he feared the Land Of Scarcity quickly would be.
"They're eating our oranges and lemons," said the people.
"How can we export marmelade with such evil?"
The people were skinny, the squirrels were fat.
The people had quite soon had enough of that!
"How are the garlic crops?" the King asked the court.
They replied that none had been sold or been bought,
But had been stolen away by those pesky squirrels
To store inside hollow trees and eat in case of viral
Pneumonia and that they were all writing poems
To persuade the squirrels to up and go home.
"Oh, dear, what shall we do?" the kind King asked.
"It seems we'd better do something fast,
But this torrential downpour has come today
To suggest to our minds there's another way,
Than killing these creatures of tawny and black,
For once we have killed them, there's no going back."
The people agreed, but what else could they do.
They had to think of something fast, wouldn't you?
They sent minstrels out to sing out the poems,
To send the fat little squirrels back to their hoemes
The Wirraleans wanted them back, do you know?
King Garlic said the squirrels had got to go.
The Wirraleans said the squirrels were fine in their land.
They ate up the acorns, were appreciated, not banned.
"It might be the change in climate, since migration
That their habits have taken this great deviation,"
Said the Wirraleans, shaking their heads with regret.
Their Wirralean squirrels were hard to forget.
"Since these squirrels were so appreciated
Let's find some kinder method
Of freeing ourselves from them taking us over,"
Said King Garlic to his Queen, his beloved.
"Are the poems having any effect on the squirrels?"
She wondered. "Are there quarrels
Between the minstrels and squirrels,
Or are we making headway with those squirrels from Wirral?
Meanwhile in the town square was a stand
Of pears and of apples till suddenly a hand
Or paw, I should say, appeared there to grab
An apple to eat for a squirrel before catching a cab.
"Are you going to Wirral?" someone dared to ask.
"No, I'm off to a friend's tree to frolic and bask
In the sun and to eat as much as I could,"
Said the squirrel taking off to the woods.
"Oh, what shall we do now?" said the Queen,
As wringing her delicate hands she was seen.
"Well, how did they get here?" Pablo asked.
"They were kindnapped by pirates, till at last
They were freed on our soil," said Pepita.
"How shocking, how awful," said the King, somewhat meeker
From hearing these shameful events brought to attention,
He went back to his chamber and arranged a convention.
"These poor helpless squirrels really cannot be blamed
For the predicament they have us in, let it be famed.
They were brought here by pirates, and listen up folks,
How could they eat acorns, we do not have oaks!
The people of Wirral were glad to oblige
With an airlift for the squirrels to have a free ride
Back to Wirral where they ate all the nuts they could want
And caused only joy, not distress and affront.
THE END
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